Life is Not a Coincidence

Children...Couldn't Live Without Them!

2009-12-13T21:19:00.000-08:00

It just wanted to update everyone on how my children are doing since our big move. Jay is 6 now and started kindergarten this year, although he called it preschool for about 3 months when he first started. I started both of the kids on a reading program this summer and I am happy to report that they are doing swimmingly. They moan and groan a bit whenever we sit down to read, but the light in the eyes when they get the words right shows that they really enjoy learning.

Jay's big accomplishment this year was learning how to count to 100. That may seem like a small feat for some 6 year olds, but to Jay, it was huge. He was still mixing up numbers counting to ten when he went into kindergarten. They tested him at the first of the year and he scored a 13% in Math. We started working on it everyday and something just clicked, it was almost audible. Within a six week period, he was not only caught up in school (they tested him again and he scored a 94% on the same test). He decided he wanted to learn to count to 100, not just to 25...so he did! It was so fun to watch the growth and confidence that came as he was so proud of himself...I must admit, I was a bit pleased myself :) He also learned how to swim this year, complete with the extreme pleasure of being able to go down the big, big slide all by himself. He has started to be such a big helper around the house too. He vacuums almost everyday and takes out the trash (although I do hear, "why do I always have to do this", quite frequently), he is a really good example to his siblings and can often be heard saying, "is that following Satan, Mom?, cause I want to follow God". He's such a great kid!

Ellie has been reading as well this year. She is almost at the exact level academically as Jay, so she is going to be all ready for Kindergarten next year...perhaps even a little bored. She is very, very tall for her age. She is wearing size 7 in clothes and she doesn't turn 5 til January. In fact, Jay is in afternoon kindergarten and it never fails that when we go out together in the mornings, someone will inevitable ask the kids why they aren't in school. Ellie usually takes the lead and answers very directly, that she isn't in school and that Jay is in Kindergarten, either that or they both give the questioner a blank stare...as if to say, "what are you talking about?". Today, in church, she was acting like a 4 year old and climbing in between rows and all over the chairs, I leaned over to one of my friends and said, "I really hate it that she looks like a 6 year old, when she is acting like a 4 year old," as her long legs were getting stuck as she tried to slide back into her place. She's a little spit-fire and always will be. She's been that way since birth....why change now? One of the memories that I have of Ellie this year is her countless prayers she said during our time of transition. We moved out of our home at the end of April and didn't get a home of our own until September. Every one of those days that we were "homeless", she said in her prayers, "Thank you for our home". Sometimes, I would get a little exasperated and say, Ellie do we have a home? She would quickly reply with, "yes", and she was always right. We always did have a home to live in, even when it wasn't our own.

Joseph is really the apple of the whole family's eye. He pretty much only loves one thing for sure, and that is to eat. I have never seen a baby that can put away so much food. He is a bottomless pit and I don't know where it all goes. Joey is cute and chunky, but the way he eats, he should be at least 50 lbs heavier :) I took all the food out of the pantry this week and put it in higher cupboards so that the little chunk won't be able to get into anything. He is hilarious. I have found more cereal all over my kitchen floor with him than with any of them. We all love him so much though and his big brother and sister adore him. He, of course, wants to be just like them and seems to be doing everything faster than they did at his age. Older siblings will grow you up fast, I guess. This year, he finally decided that walking was an okay thing to do at about 16 months. I must say, I was kind of getting tired of carrying him everywhere by that point. He promptly began to run soon after, and he looks exactly like Charlie Brown when he does. He is all upper torso, with short little legs, with the blond hair and round little face, all he needs is a yellow shirt with a brown zig zag stripe and shorts to complete the picture. He's so cute! I was trying to get him to say I love you recently, and he was doing quite well, but now whenever I say, "I", he completes the sentence with, "U" and a hug. So sweet! I told you he was the apple of our eye:)

All in all, the kids are fairing very well! They have probably adjusted better than their parents to all the changes. They have enjoyed being with their Grandma and Grandpa Brunner and cousins very much. Children are very adaptable creatures and I have been so very pleasantly surprised at how well they have adapted to their new life. I honestly can't imagine my life without these precious, precious little ones. I am such a lucky mom!

Year 2009 Re-Cap

2009-12-02T02:24:00.000-08:00

What an interesting year this has been! So many twists and turns, so many set-backs, so many changes...it's enough to make your head swim. At the end of Jan 2009, Doug lost his job. We had been working on a business plan and started going through the steps to implement this plan in Oak Harbor, WA, where we were living. We got our logo on our cleaning van, got our website up and running, and we felt very strongly that the Lord was guiding us each step of the way. However, He had a different location in mind for us then we originally thought.

At the beginning of March, My mom called, and Doug answered. She told him that my parents had both felt strongly impressed that they needed to offer us the opportunity to move to Kansas. They were willing to pay for the move if we would like to come. Doug played it off, with okay mom, we'll think about it...blah, blah, blah...all the while thinking, "why would we ever move to Kansas?". When I got home that evening, he told me that she had called and what she had called about. I promptly had the same thoughts that Doug had...played it off...decided that moving to Kansas was not really an option I even wanted to contemplate.

Fortunately (we may have thought that it was unfortunate at times this year :), the spirt started working on both of us. I kept having this strong feeling that I needed to call my mom back and talk to her about it. I resisted for about a day, then finally gave in. As I was talking to her, the spirit started confirming in my heart that this is what the Lord would have us do. Of course, I was fighting it - being the stubborn person that I am, but the promptings were coming too strong to deny. So, I talked to Doug about what I was feeling, I think he was in shock. I called and told one of my friends about these feelings and she called me back two minutes after we got off the phone and told me that she was watching my kids the next day and that we were going to the temple...whoa! Okay - I guess moving across the country is prayer worthy :)

So, early the next morning, we were on our way to the temple. Doug was still completely in shock that we were even talking about this...I was still trying to deny my feelings. However, we were fasting anyway, and we decided to say a prayer before we went in the temple. The day was a typical one for a Seattle winter, complete cloud cover, scattered rain showers, not a hint of the sun anywhere in the sky. We were asking to have guidance to know if moving to Kansas was something we needed to do. As we finished the prayer, before we even had a chance to open our eyes, we felt a very strong ray of sunshine, start to shine down on us. We opened our eyes and our car was full of sunshine. We looked up, and the only opening in the whole sky, was directly above us and only lasted for a couple of minutes. That was the first time that day, we felt that possibly our prayers were being answered.

We went into the temple and I went up to the dressing rooms. The first person I saw was Doug's mom. It just happened to be a Tuesday which is the day they work in the temple all day. As I told her the reason for us being there, I started to feel the spirit. The first thing she said after I told her was, "you are supposed to go aren't you?" It wasn't really a question! I told her that I was pretty sure, still in shock, but felt that it was right.

All through the day, Doug was playing little games with the Lord, you could call it seeking signs...but for a good cause :) In his mind he would say things like, "if we are supposed to move to Kansas, then I will see my Dad before the first session". Less than a minute later, Doug's dad came bounding around the corner of the dressing room, and he not only saw him, but he got to sit by him through the whole session.

We had decided beforehand that we needed to ask his Dad for Father's blessings while we were at the temple that day. After lunch, we went into a private room, and proceeded with the blessings. Doug's dad, knowing we were trying to make this decision, did not bless us to have the answers we needed like I would have thought, but blessed us with safetly and faith in our travels to Kansas and talked about the decision as if it was already a done deal - we were moving in his mind. His parents were convinced that we needed to go, but Doug was still struggling.

Oak Harbor is where Doug grew up. It was exactly where he always wanted to live and raise his family. We loved it there! To us, it is one of the most beautiful locations in all of the Northwest. We had his family there, really great friends, we enjoyed our callings, lived in a beautiful house, the ocean was right there ready to be sailed at a moments notice (Kansas is kind of land-locked, quite a big consideration for a sailor). Plain and simple, he did not want to move, plus, even with all the little "signs" that he had received over the course of the day, he hadn't really had the faith to ask the question sincerely.

He was still struggling with these things as we drove home from the temple. We were talking about it, and as we talked, he was feeling more and more confused, more and more clouded about this decision. I finally had to say, "Doug, I am not moving to Kansas unless you know for sure that it is right, even though I feel like I have already gotten an answer. If you have any confusion, we are not going!". As soon as I said this, it was like the fog started to clear, he took a leap of faith and said,"Phame, we are moving to Kansas!". In that moment, he got his answer. He had to leap first, then he was able to feel the spirit testify that his decision was correct.

I moved to Kansas, the end of April, a little over a month later. I drove across the country by myself with my 3 little kids, leaving Doug in WA to wrap up some work that he was already committed to do. We still own a home in Kent, WA and the same month we moved, our renter decided to stop paying rent. Doug spent those two months, kicking our renter out, fixing the septic tank, finding a new renter and trying to work as much as possible. I spent those two months doing market research for our new business, trying to figure out where we were going to live (we got the answer to move to Kansas, not specifically where we needed to be in Kansas), going through culture shock, and tried to adjust to living close to my family (we tried to stay with my mom, moved after 2 days to live on my sister's farm in a 100 year old home that is constantly in a state of construction). Tough, tough stuff! Glad I got through it.

We were finally re-united the middle of June. We met in Utah for a wedding and had a second honeymoon, driving to Kansas again (we drove to Kansas for a wedding reception on our honeymoon). We promptly moved to the the Kansas City area the end of June and set-up our new cleaning business (www.wholehomecleaners.com). This summer, I don't think that I would have ever recommended starting a new business in the middle of an economic down-turn unless you are absolutely crazy! However, somehow, after 5 months of spending countless hours struggling to get it off the ground, the business is actually starting to thrive. We spend very little on advertising, and we have been booked solid for about 3 weeks now with lots of jobs already on the books for the rest of December and even into January.

I know the Lord directed us to move to Kansas, even though it was the last place we really wanted to go. Ever since we made that decision, life has handed us one problem after another to overcome. We have been without a home of our own for 4 months of this year, looked down the nose at foreclosure and bankruptcy, sold or lost many of our worldly possessions, had one financial set-back after another, suffered health problems severe enough we were afraid Doug might not be able to work, worked endlessy trying to get our business up and running, and hoped and prayed for a better day!

There were numerous times over the course of the last 7 months, when I took comfort in reading about people like Job, the Martin and Willie Hand-cart Companies, and many others that suffered tremendous hardships as they were trying to follow the Lord's will for their lives. My repeated phrase in my mind was: "The Lord did not send us to Kansas to starve, we will find a way to provide for our family". It has been quite the trip...but I think I have learned somethings along the way.

About 6 months ago, I created a stress journal. This journal was created for the express purpose of writing down all the stress in my life, just so that I could sleep at night. I found an interesting pattern while writing. So often, I felt like my stress was so unsermountable that I couldn't bear it, but as I wrote the things that were weighing me down, I started to notice all my blessings at the same time. My journal entries would start with all my problems, then turn to why I needed to have these problems, recognizing my own need for growth in these areas, and turn into entries that were all about how blessed I was. I began to see all the ways the Lord was trying to bless me with by giving me those particular trials. I have seen the hand of the Lord many times over the course of the year, and although it will never be a year I would willingly repeat, it was much needed in becoming who the Lord would have me be.

BTW - I don't think we are going to starve either :) I even have Christmas already bought for my kids...woo hoo! Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thy own understandings and He shall direct thy path.

My Crazy Life!!!

2009-06-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

I just read the scripture again that titles my blog. All I can say is when you truly embrace trusting, sometimes it means you are in for a wild ride. These past two months have been incredible, and not exactly in the normal context of the word.

This has been my crazy life since I left Washington! Besides being a single mom (Doug is still in Oak Harbor, but only for one more week, hooray!) and dealing with a major culture shock and transition with the 3 little kids, these are the other things that have been thrown at us in the last month and a half.

First, our renter in Kent bounces a check for April's rent payment, then he doesn't pay the month of May either. Our house is two months behind on the mortgage, the septic tank is seriously damaged (needs $4500 worth of work), and the house needs lots of work to clean it up so it is rentable, sellable, etc. Then, we had to decide what we were going to do with the house (facing the real possibility that it might have to go into foreclosure).

Also this week, my computer completely crashes, my car is acting up (we were stranded on the freeway yesterday, hopefully only a battery problem but not sure yet), I misplaced my tithing check at my mom's house - so I wrote another check and repaid it on Sunday. In the meantime, my parents found my other check and turned it in also (which is a problem because we are phasing out that checking account and it caused us to bounce 3 checks with of course $35 charges attached to each one), all the while trying to get a business up and running and attempting to keep my sanity. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Luckily, Doug found a renter that wants to occupy asap. We are able to negiotiate with the bank to put the mortgage payments at the back end of the loan (hopefully they will approve), the tenant left peacefully and is cleaning up most of the mess he left behind (minus the carpet cleaning, of course). We were able to negiotiate with our ex-tenant a repayment plan to pay us for back rent and damages (which means not having to take him to court, cross our fingers).

The business plan is going swimmingly and our marketing plan really is hopeful. The kids have been major troopers, really as good as I could ask for during all of this stress. We have been swimming and have played in water over half a dozen times, because it is already so hot. Ellie even got her first real sunburn because her mom is not used to putting sunblock on to play in the backyard in May. My sister has been an angel and we are building a fabulous relationship that somehow I was too self involved to build when I was growing up. All in all, I think we are going to win the war even if the battles have been hard.

Our website goes live by the end of next week. The web address is www.wholehomecleaners.com , but you can preview it at www.wholehomecleaners.com.previewmysite.com/index.html . I want to add a testimonial section, so those of you that have used our services, please leave me a comment and I will add it to my website.

We miss everyone in Washington! Hope you are doing well!

Surprise! We are Moving.

2009-03-24T22:34:00.000-07:00

We decided today that we are moving to Kansas to be with family. We are completely overwhelmed, but feel like the time to move is now! When I say now, I mean I could be out of here in less than three weeks. That means I have to start packing! I need boxes! Help! For a complete story, please call me. If you have boxes, please drop them by or call me and I will come get them.

I know there is a reason for everything the Lord asks us to do, but why Kansas? Sometimes we don't like the answers to our prayers because they make us do hard things. For us, this is one of them.

FYI - Doug is going to be staying here for a few more months, wrapping up jobs that he has already committed to do. If you know of anyone who needs his services, let us know.

Celebrate a NEW YEAR!

2008-12-28T23:00:00.000-08:00

Join us for an Adult-only New Year's Eve Party! Bring your favorite party food, party games, and party hats! We will be starting at 8pm, feel free to come when you can and stay as late as you want. Everyone is welcome - seriously the more the merrier! If you know someone that needs a little holiday cheer, please invite them. If you don't know where I live, please call me. If you need a sitter, I have a list of 6-7 girls that really would like to have a babysitting job that night. Come and help us ring in the New Year!

Christmas Miracles!

2008-12-09T23:42:00.000-08:00

I have felt overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude during this Christmas season. As you count your blessings, they seem to multiply right in front of your eyes. My last post came as a result of difficulties we were facing and wondering how I was going to provide Christmas for my children. We were definitely feeling a financial pinch and I didn't know what to do to make this Christmas special for my family. As I was writing, I knew that I had much to be grateful for anyway, and I decided to focus my attention on everything I have instead of what I don't have. I have been richly rewarded for that decision.

November was a short month as far a work goes. Doug's job does not consist of holiday pay and we get paid twice a month. Normally, his second check of the month has at least 11-13 working days. We received his paycheck early because of the holiday and he had only worked 8 days which is a huge chunk of money gone at Christmas time. When we got that check, I was really wondering how we were even going to pay our bills let alone give our kids anything for Christmas. We also hadn't had almost any cleaning jobs for during the month of November. Miracle #1 happened, the day before Thanksgiving as we got 5 unexpected phone calls, jobs all to be done that weekend. Every penny of those wages that we would normally have earned were made up with a little bit extra for Christmas presents.

Miracle #2! One of the jobs we did was for a dear friend of ours. This is a friend that has done so much for us. Doug was so willing to help him out and didn't want to charge him anything for it. Our friend, however, had other ideas and promptly sent me a Christmas card with $500 in it. The job was probably at most only worth $150. We had never mentioned that we were having any financial problems at all. Sometimes the generosity of others is simply overwhelming.

The 3rd Christmas miracle came this last Saturday. Another one of our friends is moving next week and called us to ask us if we would like a trampoline. The house they just bought has a slopped yard and they really can't use it anymore. Now, the amazing part about that is the timing. All year I have been wanting to buy a trampoline for my children for Christmas. I priced them out sometime this summer, but I never felt like we should spend the money to purchase one, but it was definitely on the top of my Christmas wish list. Our friend's said that we were the first ones they thought of and again we never told them that we wanted a trampoline. In fact, I have never even been to their house, nor did we know they even owned a trampoline. Someone was communicating my secret Christmas wishes to them, but it wasn't me.

The 4th and 5th Holiday miracles happened in the last two weeks as I was able to attend the sealings of two beautiful families to their children. One family went to the temple for the first time, as she just got baptized a year ago. Doug and I were able to be the children's escorts. What an incredible experience! Those children were just beaming!

The second sealing was actually a family sealing, as Doug's brother and his wife took their two little girls to the temple to seal them to our family forever. They have waited a long time to have daughters, and after 13 + miscarriages, they decided to foster children. They received their first daughter when she was about 6 or 7 months old. This poor little baby had been severely abused by her mother. Her mother went to prison, but not before she was pregnant again. So, six months later, my brother and sister-in-law were going to the hospital to pick up a brand new baby girl. Now, these beautiful girls are 2 and 3 and they were officially adopted on National Adoption Day, sealed to their parents on December 6th, and given and name and a blessing this last Sunday. During their oldest daughter's blessing, the words were spoken that "early in life you were surrounded by angels that protected you, so that you might be able to fulfill your mission in life". I have never felt the spirit so strongly during a baby blessing as I did at that moment. I know that angels were protecting that little girl because she really could have died and to look at her now, she seems to have almost no ill affects from this extreme abuse.

The Lord really is watching over each one of us. He loves us, he knows our needs, he knows our wants, and he even knows our secret Christmas wishes.

Thoughts of Gratitude

2008-11-23T22:19:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! It is too bad Thanksgiving is less than one month before Christmas. It seems that so many times this holiday just gets rolled into all the holiday preparations. I mean, we get together with family and have a feast, and we get a long weekend away from the stresses of work, but the very next day after Thanksgiving we have the biggest shopping day of the year in preparation for Christmas. I know our family usually spends all day Saturday getting a Christmas tree, trimming the tree, putting up all the holiday decorations, etc. Really fun family traditions right? But my question tonight is when do we get a chance to feel thankful?

In fact, as the economic difficulties have hit so many people this year, I am sure for some just the thought of trying to get ready for Christmas is overwhelming. Gratitude is easy to overlook. It is a lot easier to see what we are lacking than what we have. For me the week of Thanksgiving has come this year with little to no recognition of all my blessings. Not that I don't try to live my life with an attitude of gratitude. I do. I know I am happier when I am grateful instead of wishing and wanting more. I simply wish there were a little more time in all our traditions to be thankful, to teach gratitude to my children, to emphasize the blessings we have without feeling like we need more.

Sometimes, if not many times, the holidays can be a time of wishfully feeling like we are lacking somehow, even if it is wishing we had more so that we could give more. Giving more to my children seems to be the theme of my wish list this year. However, when I look around, they really have all they need. They have food a plenty, a nice home to live in, more clothes than they really need, tons of toys, a family that loves them, a mother and father that are committed to one another, great friends that surround them, really what more could children need. Do they really need a commercialized Christmas to make them happy?

I fall prey to the feelings of wanting Christmas morning to be really special. Having them wake up Christmas morning to find wonderful presents that Santa has brought. Seeing the light in their eyes when they find the present that they have really been wanting and the excitement of making them happy. My children, however, are still young enough that they don't have that expectation. My Christmas traditions can be different. So, my question is how can I make my Christmas really special for my children with very little money?

For the next three years, Doug and I have committed to a very strict budget. We have a plan to get out of debt and stay out, but to do this, sacrifices must be made. One of them is that I can either blow my whole budget out of the water and have Christmas for my children, or I can sacrifice, stay on track financially, and have a very sparce Christmas. I don't think my children will care or remember one way or another, but I need to have some ideas of what to do to make it a wonderful, memorable holiday for all of us, for my sake.

I need to carry the spirit of Thanksgiving into my holiday season. I am thankful for my Savior and although He is the reason we celebrate, He is often lost in the hustle. I want this year to begin a new era for the Jensen family, where were are no longer worried about what we are going to give or receive for Christmas, but how do I do that? I want this to be the year we truly worship and thank God for the blessings we have instead of dwelling on what we might think we are lacking, but that's difficult when there are so many parties, functions, and holiday preparations to be made that worshipping is side stepped for things that are not as important.

So, tonight I am starting with a thankful list. I am making it a tag that I am giving everyone. I want everyone to make a thankful list. Then, I want you to contribute your ideas for celebrating gratefully on a budget, teaching about & worshipping our Savior, and generally de-commercializing Christmas in our homes. So here goes...

My Thankful List

First of all, I am so lucky to have such a great husband that loves me unconditionally. How blessed I am to have a man who loves his children. He loves them with all his heart and sacrifices so much for all of us. He is my best friend and I know that I am a better person because of him. He has taught me and shown me compassion, empathy, unconditional love, and how to be happy no matter the circumstances. He truly sees the best in those around him and tries to bring these qualities out in others. He is concerned with others feelings above his own and truly lives a Christ-like life. We all have our weaknesses and of course being his wife, sometimes it is easy to focus on them, but when I sit and reflect on the person I married I can't help but be filled with gratitude for the blessing of having him in my life.

I am so grateful for my children. They are the joy and light of my life. I am so grateful that I don't have to work outside the home and I get to be so closely involved with the everyday happenings of these amazing little spirits. I am grateful I have had the opportunity to create life and be a mother and when I remember the eternal responsibility that I have been intrusted with, I am in awe.

I am grateful for the power of prayer. When all else fails, pray! Usually I try to remember to pray before everything fails, but how blessed I am for the understanding and knowledge that prayer to a loving Heavenly Father is grounding, is edifying, is powerful, is rewarding, and is a blessing that no one can take away. Along with prayer is the ability to use the atonement in my life. What a blessing to be able to give all our sins away and have them remembered no more. I have been made clean and that would be impossible had my Savior not died for me. I may not have forgotten all my sins and I may beat myself up over some of them, but I KNOW when I repent sincerely, my sins are washed away.

I am grateful for the opportunity that Heavenly Father has given each one of us to become like Him and inherit eternal life. I was thinking today of how much having an eternal perspective has changed my life for the better. I am so grateful for the direction of the Spirit in my life. So many of my decisions would never have been made had it not been for the knowledge that I was being directed by the spirit. I would never have moved to Washington, never would have served a mission, wouldn't even have met my husband and if I had met him I doubt I would have married him, probably would have only wanted two children, would not be living in Oak Harbor right now, and the list goes on and on. Where do people turn for direction without the gospel? I guess I know the answer to that question because I lived enough of my life without the guidance of the spirit and I definitely remember the how it felt to "build a house upon the sand".

Which leads me to another huge blessing in my life. I am so grateful that the Lord helped me back into full fellowship of His gospel. Coming back was a rocky road, but definitely worth the trip. It has been over eleven years now since I started that journey back, and I will always be grateful for every person that lifted me up along the way.

I am also grateful that we always have sufficient for our needs. We are taken care of. The Lord hears our prayers and everytime we have a need, somehow it is filled. Often, my prayers are not answered in the way I would have expected or how I would have wanted, but looking back, we have always been taken care of. There is no reason to fear and no reason to doubt. Our needs will be met and we will not suffer more than is for our good when we are faithful. I am also grateful for the reassuring peace the spirit brings when I feel anxious or afraid.

I have so many temporal blessings that I would feel ungrateful if I did not add them to my thankful list. I served my mission in Argentina and the whole time I was there and most definitely when I returned I KNEW how rich I really was. There is nothing like a third world country to put some perspective on how amazingly rich we really are. Even the poor of our country live better than many, many people in the world. It is so easy to forget when wealth is all around us. WE ARE RICH and I have so many temporal blessings!

So, that's it for now, but I tag everyone to make a THANKFUL List of their own. Have a wonderful holiday and enjoy your families!

For What It's WORTH!

2008-11-16T22:57:00.000-08:00

I taught a lesson today in Young Women's on individual worth. I think some of my best lessons are ones that I need to hear. I needed the Lord to confirm in my heart and remind me that I am of infinite worth. Satan really likes to lie to us. He tells us all sorts of things...you are not good enough, you are not important, there is nothing special about you. He tries to get us to compare ourselves to everyone else and somehow we always seem to come up short. He wants us all to tear each other down and gain a false sense of importance from being negative about everyone around us.

The Lord however, has such a different way of viewing us. He sees us with such love. In my lesson, I listed about 15-20 lies that Satan likes to tell us about the worth of souls. I had them on pieces of paper on the chalkboard and I had the girls write down all the negative things that they remembered telling themselves in the past. We read some of the lesson together and then I started taking each one of those slips of paper off the board and with gusto ripping them up and throwing them away. At the same time, I bore my testimony of all the reasons why these lies weren't true while continuing to throw them away. I know the Spirit bore testimony that what I was saying was true.

Yet, even tonight, I was struggling with some of these same lies that I was rebuffing in my class. I used an example of a baby to help the girls understand just how wonderful their spirits selves really are. Most people are really drawn to babies because their true, beautiful, non-judging, unconditionally loving spirit selves are so close to the surface. They are so full of light and love that you can't help but love them. I know that we too would be amazed if we could see our own potential. Why is it so hard to see?

Satan is also really good at distracting us with unimportant things. So many times I find myself struggling with not bad and good choices, but good and better choices. During the adult session of stake conference, as I was listening to one of the talks, I had the distinct impression that I didn't truly try to seek the Lord's will in my day-to-day activities. I felt like there are so many times I am caught up with doing what I want to do, that I forget that there are certain things the Lord would have me do, that maybe I am not doing. I am not choosing between bad choices and good choices necessarily as much as good choices and choices with eternal consequences, such as...missionary work, strengthening my family relationships, practicing patience, kindness, and love, etc.

After last Saturday night, I committed to try to start each day asking the Lord what He would have me do. For about 4-5 days last week, I started my morning with a sincere prayer asking the Lord what He would have me do during the day. I am telling you, my day's went so much better. I don't remember anything significant happening, nothing sticks out in my mind, but my relationships with my family flourished, I had patience with my children, and I felt the spirit more abundantly. Then, Sat and Sunday roll around, I completely forget my sincere prayers. I have struggled both days feeling the spirit, with relationships with my family, I have struggled to have patience, I have struggled with feelings of inadequacy, and the list continues. Last Sunday, I set some spiritual goals and I was pretty successful in accomplishing them for about 4-5 days. It is so easy to get off your own band wagon, isn't it?

So much of the gospel is about remembering. I wonder how many times it says the word remember in the scriptures. It is hard to always REMEMBER. I had one of the most edifying sessions of stake conference just one week ago, but now here I am a week later trying to remember why it was so amazing. That is why studying and praying EVERYDAY is so important. It is too easy to get distracted with the unimportant, with the things of the world, with the time wasters, with our own weaknesses, and with the lies that Satan would have us believe.

At the end of my lesson today, I had each of the girls take their own personal LIE list and rip it into tiny pieces. I told them that they needed to quit listening to the lies that Satan would have them believe. That they needed to "remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God" (D&C 18:10). I know the Lord loves each one of us more than we can imagine. He wants us to glimpse the greatness that is inside us and do our personal best. When I remember, I am humble and my eyes are opened to the true potential in each one of us. When I am weak, I see the faults in others to falsely elevate myself.

I definitely need to work on remembering!

Impromptu Halloween Party!

2008-10-30T22:29:00.000-07:00

What started out as a way to not have to go trick or treating all evening tomorrow night, has now turned into a Halloween party! Earlier this week I was thinking of having one or two families come over to celebrate Halloween with us. We got so much candy at the trunk or treat and I really didn't want to have hoards of candy in the house next week (one week of kids begging for candy all day long is enough!). I wanted to limit the time we spent trick or treating, but needed to have something fun to do besides collect as much candy as humanly possible.

Well, my plan to have a couple of families over has somehow gone awry. Although I am the reason my plans were changed, somehow it happened without my conscious awareness. Now, however there are about 6 or 7 families coming which doesn't constitute just a couple of friends anymore and feels much more like a party.

Everytime I throw any kind of party, I am always anxious that I am leaving someone out, or that someone is going to feel bad that they didn't get an invite. I am an includer and definitely not into leaving people out so, this is a last minute invitation to anyone that might feel like they would enjoy coming. It is going to be rather informal, just food and games (no decorations, no thrills, bells, or whistles), but I think it is going to be fun.

If you would like to come bring your favorite party games, pajamas for your kids (kids will be having their own pajama party while watching movies and probably eating way too much candy), and enough pizza to feed your family (or if anyone wants to bring tortilla chips and cheese to go with the chili I am making, please call me). We are going to start around 7-7:30pm, which is kind of late for dinner, but I think gives enough time to go trick or treating for a little while with your children. We are going to have three tables of games going (if anyone shows up :), so hopefully there will be something for everyone. Hope to see you tomorrow and Happy Halloween!

Where did October go?

2008-10-28T18:16:00.000-07:00

Our Crazy Busy Month

Has anyone else felt like October has been extremely busy? I haven't even looked at a blog for almost the whole month. I have taken tons of cute pictures and have thought of lots of good ideas for great posts, but have had no extra time. No time like to present to catch up.

Babysitting Alison

This month started off difficult financially. A drop in the economy always hits businesses like ours especially hard. We felt the economic drop and we felt like maybe we needed to look for some extra work, maybe a part-time job, etc. The day I started my search, I read an email about a lady in our ward looking for childcare for her daughter. I called her and she had just gotten a job the day before and was telling her mom right before I called that all she needed now was someone to watch Alison. The next day was her first day in training and I now watch a beautiful baby girl approx. 40 hours per week. She is 19 months old, has a great disposition, and she fits right in, but lets face it, having another child around is more work. It has been nice to have the extra money though.

Jay's 5th Birthday Party!

Jay turned 5 on October 13th. We had about 15 kids come to his first birthday party with friends. He got so many cool presents and I think everyone had fun. Of course, it had to rain, so instead of having everyone make a train car and go outside to blow whistles and pretend to be a train, we had a train and 12 blowing whistles inside the house. It was a little chaotic, but definitely memorable.

Pictures from the Pumpkin Patch!

It has been one party after another this month. On the 18th, we went to the pumpkin patch to get pumpkins for a pumpkin carving party that night. It is a tradition to take pictures at the farm, and here are some of the cutest ones.

Pumpkin Carving!

Doug's 29th Birthday!

Wow, look at all those candles! Doug said he was having a little bit of a hard time turning 29. Unfortunately for him, I have zero sympathy since I turned 29 how long ago? He has been asking me to make Mexican tamales for months now, so for his birthday, I finally broke down and spent hours in the kitchen figuring out how to make them. They weren't that bad after I found out how to do it. I might even do it again sometime.

Wizard of Oz Costumes

When I was a little girl, my family dressed up as the Wizard of Oz. It is probably one of my favorite Halloween pictures. I got to be Dorothy, my brother was the Tin Man, my sister was the wicked witch, my mom was the Scarecrow, and my dad the Cowardly Lion. I had a lot of fun duplicating that memory in my own family and we actually got a good picture. We had our ward's Trunk or Treat the night of Doug's birthday, but he was a good sport about it. We celebrated his birthday Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, because of it.

Pulling Up and Growing Up!

Another note worthy happening in our family is how much our little baby is growing up. He started pulling himself up on everything this month. He is getting so huge! I think the 3rd child must grow up about twice as fast as the first two. He is already almost 8 months old. What happened to my baby?

My First Tag!

2008-10-04T00:30:00.000-07:00

3 Names You Go By:

Phame, Mommy, Mom

(However, that is not all I have been nicknamed :)

3 Restaurants That I Love:

The Outback

Baja Fresh

This amazing restaurant that gives you humougous portions that I can't think of right now. Help me out Celeste!

3 Trips To Plan on this Year!

Trip, What's a trip! They must be those things that everyone else goes on while I stay home to be with the tourists that come here!

3 Things You Want Badly!

To be debt-free!

A good economy

To detest sweets- it would be a lot easier to lose weight if I didn't like them!

3 People Who Will Do This!

The three people I tag!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 Pets I Have/Had

My dad ran over my favorite dog Dusty on my 9th birthday. Ever since then I have not been a pet person, I think it traumatized me! I have never liked animals since, which is probably a good thing because we had a new dog every year or two from the time I was old enough to remember. Each one came to some kind of tragic end, but because I never got attached it didn't hurt that much. I have been having this funny feeling lately that we need a dog though - weird!

3 Things You Did Yesterday!

Watched Alison while her mom went to work.

Took 4 kids to the Dr. office - what was I thinking?

Went to Applebee's with friends (that was fun guys, we should do it again).

3 Things You Ate Today!

Let me preface this by saying, we went to a birthday party with delicious Mexican food, then to a wedding reception. Thank goodness we don't have those kinds of days everyday!

Yummy Grilled Beef that was marinated deliciously

Icing off a cupcake - I didn't care about the cupcake, I just wanted the frosting (do I wonder why Jay has a sweet tooth, oh no I do not).

3 Frozen Creme Puffs - you know those kinds that you get at Costco

Not a good day to discuss what you ate!

3 Things You Plan on Doing Tomorrow!

Watch General Conference - I better go to bed or I am going to sleep through it!

Go to Kay's Farm - part of a preschool activity!

Plan Preschool - it's my turn to teach next week.

3 Favorite Holidays

New Year's Eve

Birthdays - especially my kids!

Halloween

3 Favorite Drinks

Water, Ruby Red Grapefruit Juice, Vanilla Soy Milk

I am trying to fake myself out and pretend that I don't like Diet Coke!

Now I tag...Christy, Tiffani, and Sierra

Jay is Conducting his Birthday!

2008-10-03T23:32:00.000-07:00

And when I say conducting, I mean it! He is almost 5 now and has finally decided that he has an opinion for everything about his birthday! We decided on the theme together, he really wanted Spiderman (yuck), so we compromised with a train theme. We have been talking about party plans for weeks, but in the last few days he has decided that he really wants to have an all boy party, NO GIRLS (he says it very adamently)! I am still trying to talk him out of it, but the invites need to go out soon. So, if your daughter is Jay's friend, don't be sad if she doesn't get an invite. It's only because I now have a stubborn 5 year old on my hands who thinks I am trying to ruin his birthday by inviting girls (isn't that a little early to be happening?).

By the way, does anyone own a conductor's hat? I wanted to order some on-line, but I waited too long and they won't arrive until either the day of or the day after the party. I don't want to take that chance. I only need one!

Coincidences are God's Way of Remaining Annoymous!

2008-10-01T16:30:00.000-07:00

Margo Lemme was walking in the blueberry patch earlier this week and found a set of keys. I soon had keys delivered to my house. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I Love Happy Endings!

2008-09-20T22:02:00.000-07:00

Today, we went back to look for my keys. After a very long night of worrying, (how are we going to get our whole family to the baptism tomorrow, how are we all going to get to church, how are we going to get a new key made, how could I have lost them?, not to mention worrying about the money it's going to cost to get a new one), I woke up the next morning and called the dealership about the key. They said that they didn't have anyone in today to reprogram a key, so I was going to have to wait til Monday. They also said it would be $82 plus the price of a tow because they needed the car down at the dealership. That is one expensive lost key!

We decided to do one last search of the berry patch since we were going to be vanless until Monday no matter what. Doug and I went down there in the rain and searched for another hour and a half. We saw nothing on our long walks up and down the rows (but I did find the best bushes for picking, anyone up for picking blueberries?). Finally, we knew we had to give up, we were going to be late to a baptism. We felt more than a little bit frustrated, a little bit wet, and a little bit downtrodden. We decided on the way home that we were just going to have to bite the bullet and pay for them to reprogram a new key for us.

On the way home, Doug was racking his brain trying to think of all the places that his extra key could have been, but he couldn't even remember if he had them while we were living in our house (which has been almost 6 months now). However, for some reason, when he came home he began to rampage our closet. He pulled out everything in his sailbags (he's only got three) and started going through every pocket in every pair of pants he owns.

Amazingly enough, HE FOUND THE MISSING KEY! It was in a pocket of one of his dress pants that he almost never wears. That was not a coincidence! We still never found my keys, but I know our prayers were answered. Maybe our prayers weren't answered as fast as we would have liked, or maybe not in the way we would have asked them to be, but they were none the less answered. For that I am truly grateful (you should have seen our celebration dance).

By the way, if anyone ever needs someone to go looking for keys in the middle of the night with them I know the perfect person to help (thanks Kami), or maybe babysitting at the last minute (your a lifesaver KellyAnne), or if anyone ever needs to borrow a brand new van for the day, boy do I have the friends for you (some things go way above and beyond, you guys are the best). Thank you all so much for your help!

Repentance Among the Blueberry Patch!

2008-09-19T23:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I went blueberry picking. A few of us drove together and we got lots of blueberries. I think we were all really satisfied with the evening, but as we were driving home, I got the distinct impression that I was missing something. I brushed off the feeling because I thought to myself that I must feel that way because I was kidless (and that is pretty unusual). When we arrived at Tara's house, where my van was parked, I realized just exactly what I was missing. MY KEYS WERE GONE!

Of course, I didn't drive to the berry patch, so I started looking in the only available places that they could be. We searched my van, Tara's van, Tara's house, and then I started feeling a little panicked. I called Doug to tell him about it and asked him where our extra set was. He said that (unbeknownest to me) our other set had been missing for quite sometime. Then, he told me that he had put a hide-a-key in the van a couple of years ago. We found the key box, put the key in and figured out that that key didn't actually start the car, it only opened the car doors. At this point, there was nothing left to do but check the blueberry patch! Most people would have waited til morning, but knowing I wouldn't sleep a wink until I knew I had done all I could, I felt compelled to check. Luckily, I knew which row I had been on for most of the evening, so I felt confident that I could find my keys with the Lord's help, of course.

So, I went, and I prayed, and I searched, and I found the row I had been on, but I didn't find my keys. At one point during my hour and half of searching, I realized how very often I need a wake up call before sincerely praying and repenting of my sins. It saddens me to think that sometimes I only really pour my heart out to my Heavenly Father when things aren't going so great. When things are going well, I get complacent and lazy. Things have been going really well lately. I have really been so blessed. Blessed with the things I need, blessed with a great home, blessed with wonderful friends, blessed with an amazing family, blessed with health, and the list goes on and on. Why then, with all this happiness, is tonight the first time in quite a while, that I felt like I was pouring my heart out to the Lord? Why do I need a trial, to get me to do what I have already been asked to do?

Tonight I feel a little like Nephi when he said "my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which so easily beset me" (2 Nephi 4:19). I really love Nephi! As I read on, he knows that he must repent, but he also knows that his soul can not "linger in the valley of sorrow". He has hope and finds joy in repentance. He knows of his weaknesses and therefore asks for help that he might "shake at the appearance of sin". In 2 Nephi 4:34-35, Nephi says, "O Lord, I have trusted in thee and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of the flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of the flesh.... Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea,my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness."
The scriptures are filled with such messages of hope, faith, love, peace, help, joy, and comfort. All I have to do is be humble enough to receive these things from them. Why is that so hard? I am grateful for my time in the blueberry patch, because even though I haven't found my keys, I have found some humility and I needed that even more.

Growing up so fast!

2008-09-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

Doug took some super cute pictures this morning before church. I just really love my kids! Jay looks so grown up somehow in this picture. I think it is because his feet not only touch the ground, but there is a slight bend at the knee. I am constantly amazed at how fast he is growing up (I call it the first child syndrome). His newest "cutest thing to do" is that he will come and stand by me and say, "Mom how tall am I?", so I will measure him and tell him that he is almost up to my arm. He will ask me if he is growing up, and I will assure him that he is getting really big and tall.

One day, I was teasing him and telling him that I did not want him to grow anymore, that I just wanted him to stay little. He got a huge frown on his face and his eyes welled up in tears, and he said, "but Mom, I need to grow up." We had a long talk after that and I assured him that I really did want him to grow up, that I was excited for all the things that he was going to get to do.

Secretly, though, I am a little sad. This is the last year that I will have all my children around me all day long. I know instinctively, that even though I feel my life is pretty busy right now, it is only going to get busier once school starts full time. I love having my kids around me. I know what they are doing, what they are learning, what friends they are making, how they are behaving, etc. (Am I a control freak?, Maybe!) Even when their behavior is less than desirable, I am still fully involved in their lives. Giving up that special time will definitely feel like a loss.

I am just glad that I have one more year to make that break, not because I don't want Jay to grow up and become even more independent, but because I truly just love being his mom and having him around. He is such a good big brother, he is helpful and kind, he loves his baby brother, he is Ellie's best friend, and has such sweet disposition. Jay and I have always had a really special connection and I count having him as my son as one of my most cherished blessings.

A New Chapter Has Begun!

2008-09-11T21:52:00.000-07:00

Jay and Ellie went to preschool this week for the first time! Although this may be a seemingly minor occurence in other people's world, it was huge in mine. Not only is it significant because my babies are growing up, (which is always an amazing process for a mother to go through, especially when it's their first), but it also has added another drop to my "the Lord really loves me bucket". Let me explain!

For over two years now, I have been interested in doing some kind of co-op preschool. I had no interest in paying for preschool because #1 it's expensive and #2 our money has always been seasonal because we own a business that is seasonal. I had no interest in signing up for something in the fall that would be an added burden to our family in the winter. So, for over two years now, I have wanted to put together a co-op preschool. The only problem was that all the mothers that I knew were already involved with expensive preschools and had zero interest!

Fifteen months ago, we moved to Oak Harbor. I had high hopes of finding other preschool moms, but to no avail. Finally, after living in Oak Harbor for 10 months, we moved into our lovely little home, that just happened to be in the boundaries of the best ward ever! It just so happened that the year before Jay enters kindergarten, (when pre-school is needed most) I met a wonderful group of women, that not only were open to the idea of a pre-school, but actually really excited about the idea. We also just happen to each have children that are all starting kindergarten at the same time and will possibly even go to the same school. Each one of these children have become my children's best friends and each one of these women have touched my life. The Lord knows us each individually and knows exactly what we need. I am glad that he knew I needed these amazing women as my friends.

Little Monkey Preschool

2008-09-11T18:22:00.000-07:00

Five little monkeys, sitting in a row

They all learned what we all know.

They learned about crosswalks and made stop signs,

Formed the letter O,

And stood in a line.

Do I blog? NO WAY!

2008-09-08T22:06:00.000-07:00

I have been hearing about blogs for months, possibly years now, and I have avoided the trend completely. I honestly had no interest until April 2008 (5 months ago), when suddenly I am surronded by bloggers. They wanted to know if I blogged, everyone talked about everyone else's blogs, and it seemed I was the only person who not only didn't blog, but didn't even know how to blog. What peer pressure!

I, being the strong-willed person that I am, decided I was going to go against the flow and I still wasn't going to blog. "Really what is the point?", I said to myself. Do I really want to spend my free time checking other people's blogs, writing my own, and spending more and more time on the computer. I don't even enjoy being on the computer. "Why should I blog?", I said to myself, "my children will just destroy my house while I am distractedly choosing the exact word that will express my deepest thoughts and feelings. Then, there are the other factors such as, what am I going to give up so I can blog (maybe I just won't do the dishes anymore), or what am I going to neglect (do you ever just not hear your kids, and then you suddenly realize they have said your name at least a half a dozen times or more and you are still not answering to their persistent - mom, mom, mom)." I was seriously trying to resist the blogging fad. I had every excuse not to blog and I was prepared to use them.

Yet, in the last 5 months, I have made some wonderful friends. In many of our recent phone calls, I have heard many sentences that start out with phrases such as these..."Well, I know you don't blog, so I thought I should call you and tell you what is going on". Or, "I posted it on my blog, oh but you don't blog...". Everyone has seriously been so nice about calling me and telling me things, but I have finally decided that I need to quit being so stubborn and become a BLOGGER.

There are a few reasons I have come to this conclusion, one of them of course being peer pressure, which I could have resisted if that were the only reason I thought blogging would be beneficial. The biggest reason I feel I need to start keeping a blog is that I DO NOT keep a journal. Have you ever had something that you know, absolutely know, that you are supposed to do and still have the hardest time doing it? Well, keeping a journal is one of the hardest things for me to do and I KNOW that I am supposed to do it. It talks about writing and keeping a journal several times in my patriarchial blessing and every single time there is any mention of journal keeping in a talk, lesson, article or conversation - I either feel one of two things. Either I am completely overwhelmed with the spirit or I feel totally guilty because I am not already doing it. Both are good indicators that the Lord has a purpose in asking me specifically to keep a journal. So, blogging is my attempt at repentance and restitution.

My blog may be a little different than the typical blog. For example, the title. I have felt that I need to write about things that happen in my daily life that show me that Lord loves me, loves each one of us, knows exactly who we are, and is in the details of our lives. I have had and continue to have things happen that help me know, not just believe, but know that things happen for a reason. That life in all it's beauty and unpleasantness, does not just happen on accident. There are no coincidences! We are given experiences, strengths, weaknesses, trials and temptations for a reason. I love searching for what those reasons are. Of course, I also want to use this blog as a way for others to get to know me and my family better, but hopefully through the course of writing about me and my family, I will develop stronger faith, improve on the talents Heavenly Father has given me, and maybe - just maybe - help strengthen someone else in the process.

Learning How to BLOG

2008-09-08T17:18:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here today with my friend C, and being the great friend that she is, she is introducing me to the wonderful world of BLOGGING. It is a little overwhelming and could be very time consuming it seems. I know I need to keep some kind of journal and because scrapbooking has somehow become entirely impossible to keep up on, I am looking for a new creative outlet.

The Birth of Baby Joseph Scott Jensen

2008-05-30T21:43:00.000-07:00

Our sweet baby Joey was born on March 5th 2008 and weighed 9 lbs 7 ozs, although he was probably a few ounces heavier when he was born. Before they could weigh him, he started peeing all over everyone. The nurses were quite surprised at the force because it hit the warmer up above the scale. Technically, we should probably add a few ounces which makes him as big as his siblings, but longer by about 1 inch (he was 21 1/2 inches long).

Doug and I decided on Joseph Scott as his name a few months before he was born. He was named this for a few reasons. First of all, Doug's brother is named Joseph Dean and goes by Dean, Doug's mother's given name was Josephine Adel, although she has since shortened it to JoDel. One of Doug's good friends is named Joseph and at the time we were picking the name, Joe was having the discussions and Doug got to baptize him in January 08'. Plus, what better name to give your son than the name of great prophets of the old testament and in this dispensation.

We decided on the name Scott for two reasons. First, my brother Charles Scott Brunner, had been working for us since May 07'. As we moved up to Oak Harbor, we still hadn't sold our house, Charles took care of it while it was on the market, kept our business running, and was willing to sacrifice to help us out during a very difficult time in our lives without complaint. There were many times when I had only enough money to pay him or pay our bills (we were basically paying the equivalent of a double mortgage because our house was not selling). He would always allow me to pay my bills first and we appreciated his love and support so much. While growing up, Charles went by Scott for the first 6 or 7 years of his life. When he got into 1st grade, there were too many Scott's in his class and there was another Scott B, so he decided to change his name to Charles. I still continued to call him Scott for at least another 10 years or so. Finally, when he was about 18, I decided I could call him Charles, but I have always liked that name. Scott Ellis is also one of Doug's good friends from high school and he was the best man at our wedding, so it was fitting to name our son Scott also.

This was my third C-section and by far the best birth and delivery, and recovery I might add, that I have ever had. The first time I heard Joey cry, tears of joy were shed, which was a first for me. I may have been so drugged the first two times, that I missed the overwhelming spiritual feelings that come with having a baby. I was in awe of the amazing ability that our bodies have to create life and I was overcome with a feeling of peace as this precious baby entered the world.

Joseph has such a calming, peaceful spirit. While I was in the hospital, I was so filled with the spirit as I held him. I just felt so close to heaven. I knew how pure and clean he was, and while I was in the hospital, I had the distinct impression that I needed to be the best mother possible for all three of my children. Doug had given me a priesthood blessing the night before I went in for the surgery and what I remember most about that blessing was that he told me that I would have a special experience that would strengthen my testimony during my stay at the hospital. Somehow, the simple act of being Joseph's mother made me want to be an even better mother, a better wife, a better person in general, and closer to my Heavenly Father. I had a wonderful stay at the hospital and I will never forget those first 3 days Joey and I got to spend together.