Year 2009 Re-Cap

What an interesting year this has been! So many twists and turns, so many set-backs, so many changes...it's enough to make your head swim. At the end of Jan 2009, Doug lost his job. We had been working on a business plan and started going through the steps to implement this plan in Oak Harbor, WA, where we were living. We got our logo on our cleaning van, got our website up and running, and we felt very strongly that the Lord was guiding us each step of the way. However, He had a different location in mind for us then we originally thought.

At the beginning of March, My mom called, and Doug answered. She told him that my parents had both felt strongly impressed that they needed to offer us the opportunity to move to Kansas. They were willing to pay for the move if we would like to come. Doug played it off, with okay mom, we'll think about it...blah, blah, blah...all the while thinking, "why would we ever move to Kansas?". When I got home that evening, he told me that she had called and what she had called about. I promptly had the same thoughts that Doug had...played it off...decided that moving to Kansas was not really an option I even wanted to contemplate.

Fortunately (we may have thought that it was unfortunate at times this year :), the spirt started working on both of us. I kept having this strong feeling that I needed to call my mom back and talk to her about it. I resisted for about a day, then finally gave in. As I was talking to her, the spirit started confirming in my heart that this is what the Lord would have us do. Of course, I was fighting it - being the stubborn person that I am, but the promptings were coming too strong to deny. So, I talked to Doug about what I was feeling, I think he was in shock. I called and told one of my friends about these feelings and she called me back two minutes after we got off the phone and told me that she was watching my kids the next day and that we were going to the temple...whoa! Okay - I guess moving across the country is prayer worthy :)

So, early the next morning, we were on our way to the temple. Doug was still completely in shock that we were even talking about this...I was still trying to deny my feelings. However, we were fasting anyway, and we decided to say a prayer before we went in the temple. The day was a typical one for a Seattle winter, complete cloud cover, scattered rain showers, not a hint of the sun anywhere in the sky. We were asking to have guidance to know if moving to Kansas was something we needed to do. As we finished the prayer, before we even had a chance to open our eyes, we felt a very strong ray of sunshine, start to shine down on us. We opened our eyes and our car was full of sunshine. We looked up, and the only opening in the whole sky, was directly above us and only lasted for a couple of minutes. That was the first time that day, we felt that possibly our prayers were being answered.

We went into the temple and I went up to the dressing rooms. The first person I saw was Doug's mom. It just happened to be a Tuesday which is the day they work in the temple all day. As I told her the reason for us being there, I started to feel the spirit. The first thing she said after I told her was, "you are supposed to go aren't you?" It wasn't really a question! I told her that I was pretty sure, still in shock, but felt that it was right.

All through the day, Doug was playing little games with the Lord, you could call it seeking signs...but for a good cause :) In his mind he would say things like, "if we are supposed to move to Kansas, then I will see my Dad before the first session". Less than a minute later, Doug's dad came bounding around the corner of the dressing room, and he not only saw him, but he got to sit by him through the whole session.

We had decided beforehand that we needed to ask his Dad for Father's blessings while we were at the temple that day. After lunch, we went into a private room, and proceeded with the blessings. Doug's dad, knowing we were trying to make this decision, did not bless us to have the answers we needed like I would have thought, but blessed us with safetly and faith in our travels to Kansas and talked about the decision as if it was already a done deal - we were moving in his mind. His parents were convinced that we needed to go, but Doug was still struggling.

Oak Harbor is where Doug grew up. It was exactly where he always wanted to live and raise his family. We loved it there! To us, it is one of the most beautiful locations in all of the Northwest. We had his family there, really great friends, we enjoyed our callings, lived in a beautiful house, the ocean was right there ready to be sailed at a moments notice (Kansas is kind of land-locked, quite a big consideration for a sailor). Plain and simple, he did not want to move, plus, even with all the little "signs" that he had received over the course of the day, he hadn't really had the faith to ask the question sincerely.

He was still struggling with these things as we drove home from the temple. We were talking about it, and as we talked, he was feeling more and more confused, more and more clouded about this decision. I finally had to say, "Doug, I am not moving to Kansas unless you know for sure that it is right, even though I feel like I have already gotten an answer. If you have any confusion, we are not going!". As soon as I said this, it was like the fog started to clear, he took a leap of faith and said,"Phame, we are moving to Kansas!". In that moment, he got his answer. He had to leap first, then he was able to feel the spirit testify that his decision was correct.

I moved to Kansas, the end of April, a little over a month later. I drove across the country by myself with my 3 little kids, leaving Doug in WA to wrap up some work that he was already committed to do. We still own a home in Kent, WA and the same month we moved, our renter decided to stop paying rent. Doug spent those two months, kicking our renter out, fixing the septic tank, finding a new renter and trying to work as much as possible. I spent those two months doing market research for our new business, trying to figure out where we were going to live (we got the answer to move to Kansas, not specifically where we needed to be in Kansas), going through culture shock, and tried to adjust to living close to my family (we tried to stay with my mom, moved after 2 days to live on my sister's farm in a 100 year old home that is constantly in a state of construction). Tough, tough stuff! Glad I got through it.

We were finally re-united the middle of June. We met in Utah for a wedding and had a second honeymoon, driving to Kansas again (we drove to Kansas for a wedding reception on our honeymoon). We promptly moved to the the Kansas City area the end of June and set-up our new cleaning business (www.wholehomecleaners.com). This summer, I don't think that I would have ever recommended starting a new business in the middle of an economic down-turn unless you are absolutely crazy! However, somehow, after 5 months of spending countless hours struggling to get it off the ground, the business is actually starting to thrive. We spend very little on advertising, and we have been booked solid for about 3 weeks now with lots of jobs already on the books for the rest of December and even into January.

I know the Lord directed us to move to Kansas, even though it was the last place we really wanted to go. Ever since we made that decision, life has handed us one problem after another to overcome. We have been without a home of our own for 4 months of this year, looked down the nose at foreclosure and bankruptcy, sold or lost many of our worldly possessions, had one financial set-back after another, suffered health problems severe enough we were afraid Doug might not be able to work, worked endlessy trying to get our business up and running, and hoped and prayed for a better day!

There were numerous times over the course of the last 7 months, when I took comfort in reading about people like Job, the Martin and Willie Hand-cart Companies, and many others that suffered tremendous hardships as they were trying to follow the Lord's will for their lives. My repeated phrase in my mind was: "The Lord did not send us to Kansas to starve, we will find a way to provide for our family". It has been quite the trip...but I think I have learned somethings along the way.

About 6 months ago, I created a stress journal. This journal was created for the express purpose of writing down all the stress in my life, just so that I could sleep at night. I found an interesting pattern while writing. So often, I felt like my stress was so unsermountable that I couldn't bear it, but as I wrote the things that were weighing me down, I started to notice all my blessings at the same time. My journal entries would start with all my problems, then turn to why I needed to have these problems, recognizing my own need for growth in these areas, and turn into entries that were all about how blessed I was. I began to see all the ways the Lord was trying to bless me with by giving me those particular trials. I have seen the hand of the Lord many times over the course of the year, and although it will never be a year I would willingly repeat, it was much needed in becoming who the Lord would have me be.

BTW - I don't think we are going to starve either :) I even have Christmas already bought for my kids...woo hoo! Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thy own understandings and He shall direct thy path.