Repentance Among the Blueberry Patch!

Tonight, I went blueberry picking. A few of us drove together and we got lots of blueberries. I think we were all really satisfied with the evening, but as we were driving home, I got the distinct impression that I was missing something. I brushed off the feeling because I thought to myself that I must feel that way because I was kidless (and that is pretty unusual). When we arrived at Tara's house, where my van was parked, I realized just exactly what I was missing. MY KEYS WERE GONE!

Of course, I didn't drive to the berry patch, so I started looking in the only available places that they could be. We searched my van, Tara's van, Tara's house, and then I started feeling a little panicked. I called Doug to tell him about it and asked him where our extra set was. He said that (unbeknownest to me) our other set had been missing for quite sometime. Then, he told me that he had put a hide-a-key in the van a couple of years ago. We found the key box, put the key in and figured out that that key didn't actually start the car, it only opened the car doors. At this point, there was nothing left to do but check the blueberry patch! Most people would have waited til morning, but knowing I wouldn't sleep a wink until I knew I had done all I could, I felt compelled to check. Luckily, I knew which row I had been on for most of the evening, so I felt confident that I could find my keys with the Lord's help, of course.

So, I went, and I prayed, and I searched, and I found the row I had been on, but I didn't find my keys. At one point during my hour and half of searching, I realized how very often I need a wake up call before sincerely praying and repenting of my sins. It saddens me to think that sometimes I only really pour my heart out to my Heavenly Father when things aren't going so great. When things are going well, I get complacent and lazy. Things have been going really well lately. I have really been so blessed. Blessed with the things I need, blessed with a great home, blessed with wonderful friends, blessed with an amazing family, blessed with health, and the list goes on and on. Why then, with all this happiness, is tonight the first time in quite a while, that I felt like I was pouring my heart out to the Lord? Why do I need a trial, to get me to do what I have already been asked to do?

Tonight I feel a little like Nephi when he said "my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which so easily beset me" (2 Nephi 4:19). I really love Nephi! As I read on, he knows that he must repent, but he also knows that his soul can not "linger in the valley of sorrow". He has hope and finds joy in repentance. He knows of his weaknesses and therefore asks for help that he might "shake at the appearance of sin". In 2 Nephi 4:34-35, Nephi says, "O Lord, I have trusted in thee and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of the flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of the flesh.... Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea,my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness."
The scriptures are filled with such messages of hope, faith, love, peace, help, joy, and comfort. All I have to do is be humble enough to receive these things from them. Why is that so hard? I am grateful for my time in the blueberry patch, because even though I haven't found my keys, I have found some humility and I needed that even more.